Waiting, Boys, and Self-Worth

Okay ladies, don’t get me wrong. Waiting really sucks. I remember (and still have) those times where you are sitting on the couch or in class just waiting for that boy to text you back. It’s been 10 minutes and you don’t see the little bubble that tells you that he is typing. Did he read your message? Does he care about what you said enough to reply in a timely fashion? Hold up, he is most likely just busy. Or being a good kid and paying attention in class instead of texting, but probably not.

In life, that’s how I feel about my relationship with God. But instead of 10 minutes, its years! That little prayer I sent up right before a big test, is it too minuscule for Big G to care about? What about the middle school/high school relationships I had? Where my worries and insecurities too juvenile for him to give a second thought about?

I spent from about 4th grade (yes I was that young when I had my first “boyfriend”) to around 10 months ago trying to find a guy that would love me. The thing is, I would be the one to pursue the guy instead of letting him pursue me. I wanted that love and care so darn bad that I tried to make it happen. If you read my first blog, you would know I went to extreme lengths to find that “perfect relationship” with a man. I would talk to random guys on the internet and tell myself that it wasn’t dangerous or most importantly, demeaning to myself as a woman. I had no sense of self-worth. I was looking for identity in a man. 

So what changed? Well, I gave up. I had one bad relationship last summer that really just smacked me in the face and screamed “WHY ARE YOU DUMB?!” And it was when we broke that I promised myself that I would remember how much I was worth, as both a daughter of Christ and as a woman. Queen B would be proud.

That was the start of the 10 months of a single life. Did I go on a couple dates here and there? Yes. Were they completely pointless? No. Because God was preparing me to be the woman he wants me to be. He was shaping my identity, my wants, and my needs. It was during this time of waiting that I grew both as a woman and in my relationship with Christ.

I believe that God puts every single person in your life for a reason. Whether its your middle school/high school boyfriend, or a friend that helps you progress as a Christian. Wait for the people who will build you up instead of ask you to do things that you know are detrimental to your life.

Ladies, people can do stupid things sometimes and it can really hurt us. But it is when God places the people in front of you who love you and build you up that make life worth living. It takes patience to wait for good people without going crazy and trying to do everything yourself. But today, remind yourself that you are worth the wait. 

Fun fact of the day: If you lift a Kangaroo’s tail off the ground, it can’t hop.

One thought on “Waiting, Boys, and Self-Worth

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  1. Quite a nice read. I’m glad you realized your happiness, identity, or goals aren’t tied to any man. You can accomplish a lot in life when you focus on “you”- your life goal. The right one will eventually find you. If it’s meant to be.


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