A Season of Change, Loss, and Hope

Fall is without a doubt my favorite season. As I am sitting here typing with my cup of coffee and my phone playing the song “Gabriel’s Oboe” by Morricone, I can see leaves falling from the trees here on campus. Even the trees bow down to God. And even though the trees know that they will soon be bare and seemingly lifeless, they continue through this beautiful season of color and wonder, because they have the hope of their next life: spring.

Just as the trees bow down to the plans of the Creator, so do we as humans. Earlier today my high school English teacher passed away from cancer. This woman was the epitome of love. She treated every student as her child, as she had none of her own. During my junior and senior years of high school when I was going through the side effects of my brain injury and the lower point of my life so far (see my first blog for details on that), Mrs. Berkey was one of the only teachers at my high school that believed I had the potential to overcome that chapter of my life.

So today I find myself asking the question we so often do, why? Why would God chose to take such a precious soul only in the middle of her life? Why take her away from her sister as her best friend, (who also made an impact on my class as our creative writing teacher)? The two of them are the reason I am able write these blogs. Now half of that reason is gone.

The reason is simple: it is His will. Just as the trees and mountains obey our Savior, so do we as His children. His reasoning is perfect and we will understand it one day. Because of His love and sacrifice, we have the hope of seeing our loved ones again when we move on from this life. I won’t pretend that I am not scared of death, because I am. I am scared that I will die and there will be nothing there, that I will have lived my life trying to share the love of someone that isn’t real. I am scared that heaven won’t be what the Bible portrays it to be, perfect and more than we could ever imagine. The hope I have in my Savior is my reason for continuing on in this painful and sinful world we live in. A world filled with death, natural disasters, and pain. I continue on with the hope that one day, it will all be gone and instead replaced with perfect love and peace.

Mrs. Berkey,

Thank you. Thank you for believing in me when it felt like there were only a handful of people left that did. Thank you for gently guiding me through the three and a half or so years that I was blessed to have with you as a teacher. I will not forget your love for the rest of my life. I will remember the way you said my name when I was talking in class when I shouldn’t have been, “Now Clay-er…”. I will remember how you cried every time you read the book Baby. I will always, always remember your kindness to me in such a dark period of my life. You were the light and love of Jesus Christ. And now you are in heaven dancing with Him, painless. Thank you for the life that you lived for Him. Thank you for love that you had for me. Rest well Mrs. Berkey, we will see you again soon.

One thought on “A Season of Change, Loss, and Hope

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  1. Beautifully written Clair! I can’t wait to read your other blogs. Keep writing! God will use you to touch many lives. Love you!


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